Newsroom
Announcements, awards, and observations. Accurate at the moment of measurement.
From the newsroom
Official announcements, awards, and observations from newtrawn INC. Every statement below was accurate at the precise moment it was measured; subsequent measurements may differ. For deeper field notes, see our blog.
newtrawn INC named “Most Compliant With Thermodynamics”
Wave Function Weekly recognizes our ongoing mutual non-aggression pact with the Second Law for the third consecutive quarter.
2026-06-09 · ProductTachyonic SLA reaches general availability
Customers on Boson Pro and above now have incidents resolved before they are filed. Customers are reminded, kindly, not to file them.
2026-05-30 · Companynewtrawn INC introduces free Vacuum State plan
A new no-cost tier brings officially-supported nothingness to teams of every size.
2026-05-18 · PressFeatured in Hadronic Times
“newtrawn INC is exactly the firm we always suspected existed,” writes the paper's enterprise desk.
2026-04-27 · MilestoneFifth consecutive quarter with zero antimatter incidents
Operations credits careful work, favorable observation conditions, and not actually possessing any antimatter.
2026-03-12 · Companynewtrawn INC opens fourteenth office in Hilbert Space 7
The new location offers a famously brief commute and an ambiguous physical address.
Recognition
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